Love and Loss
by Daryl-Dixons-Gurl
Summary: Merle has just died and there is only one person who will sit there and listen to him. Carol. She wants to listen to what he has to say. Through this strange bond, Daryl realizes his feelings for the other woman and knows what he has to do. Character death. Daryl & Merle/Daryl & Carol. Lots of cursing. Spoiles for S3,E15


**_Spoilers for Season 3, Episode 15_**

**_First off I want you all to know how hard this was for me. Because I had to try and do Daryl's dialect throughout the whole story and it went against everything I stand for in grammar and speaking. So yeah. Enjoy!~_**

* * *

Daryl Dixon had never felt so lost before. Even when they lost Merle in Atlanta. But then, he was just that. Lost. Missing. Daryl knew deep down that Merle was still out there and that they would one day be reunited. And they had been. Through some weird twist of fate, they had been reunited and all was well within Daryl. But of course Daryl knew, standing there surrounded by the people of Woodbury, looking at Merle and knowing they were going to work together, that once they joined Rick and the others, this all would go to shit. No one trusted Merle. But Daryl did not care. He had Merle back and that was all that mattered to him.

* * *

As Daryl got up to walk away from Merle, he felt his own heart breaking. He didn't want to leave Merle. That was his brother, his blood. And you don't just leave your family. But wasn't the group his new family? They all took care of each other. Rick, Carl and Glenn were like brothers to him…Hershel was a father…and Maggie and Beth were sisters. But what did that make Carol?

"Where are you going!?" Merle asked.

"Back where I belong." Daryl said as he pictured Carol. She was standing outside the prison with him, holding Judith just before he went with the others to get Glenn and Maggie back.

"I can't go with you. I tried to kill that black bitch! Damn near killed the Chinese kid." Merle called after Daryl.  
"He's Korean." Daryl replied.

"Whatever. It doesn't matter I just can't go with you." Merle said.

* * *

Daryl had to find Merle. He had Michonne and Rick didn't want to give her up to the Governor. Daryl was relieved that Rick had finally seen the value of the woman. But now not only was Michonne's life at risk, but so was Merle's. If not because of the Governor, but because of everyone waiting at the prison. Daryl soon came to a clearing where he found dead walkers, all except one. He raised his crossbow to shoot the snarling head but a katana slammed into it making him look up. His eyes connected with Michonne's. "Did you kill him?" he demanded.

"No. He let me out of the car." Michonne stated.

Daryl nodded and walked passed her, "Don't let anyone to follow me." He said before running on. He knew where Merle was.

* * *

Daryl walked up to the compound cautiously. If Merle had in fact been there, then he couldn't be too sure of what was all around. He froze at the sound of the groans and munching. He looked forward to see a walker tearing apart one of the Governor's people. The walker had sensed him and looked up at him. Daryl stepped back in complete shock. There was no way. The walker stood and rushed towards Daryl. Daryl stood there dumbfounded. A small hope sparked within him that maybe Merle was just playing a prank on him like he liked to do Daryl met the walker's eyes and he knew Merle wasn't there anymore. But as he lumbered towards him, Daryl couldn't find it within him to raise his crossbow, so he simply shoved Merle away. Merle came back at him and he shoved him away again. Daryl continued this until finally, he knew what he had to do. He knocked the walker down and shoved his knife into its skull. When he did that he realized how good it felt. Sure, he loved Merle. But he knew Merle was a dick and he hated Merle for leaving him with their abusive father. He hated Merle for everything he had ever done to Daryl growing up. And finally, he released his pent up rage. Tears were streaming from his eyes because it hurt to do this, but he had to. Finally he pulled away and seeing the damage he had done he released a sob. He stood and grabbed his crossbow and turned to head back to the prison. Back to Carol.

* * *

As Daryl made his way up the pathway to the prison, he felt the ache slowly go away, because just a few yards away from him was Carol, relieved to see him back and safe. He sighed and nodded at her before walking over to Rick. "Well, where is he?" he asked. From behind Rick came Michonne who seemed just as curious.

Carol stepped forward and was the first to notice the blood that was all over his shirt and the sorrow he was showing. "Oh god…" she gasped. Daryl knew she didn't like him, no one did. But Carol was respectful and she knew how much Merle meant to Daryl and how hard this must be on him.

"What?" Rick asked. Then he noticed the blood on his shirt and on his hands. And he could tell that Daryl was hurting. Rick reached out and placed a gentle hand on Daryl's shoulder. "We'll get that son of a bitch back for you." He said.

Glenn had also come out and was nodding in agreement. "Revenge is a bitch." He added.

Daryl's eyes grew wide at this statement because just hours before Glenn had been trash talking Merle, once again. But not because of what Merle had done to Glenn, but because of what had happened to Maggie. "I know he was sorry Daryl. And I will do my best to avenge your brother." Daryl turned and met Maggie's wide eyes, surprised to hear this coming from her.

"We all will." Carol said with a gentle smile.

Daryl nodded, his lips pulled tight across his face. "I'm gonna go wash up." He said before entering the prison.

* * *

Daryl stood beneath the now working shower head and washed the blood off of his scarred body. He reached for his towel and wrapped it around his lower regions and finally collapsed. He hadn't even realized he'd been crying until that moment. He released a gut wrenching sob that echoed throughout the shower room and even out into the hall.

"Daryl?" Daryl turned to the doors to see Carol holding some dry clothes for him. "Are you okay?" she asked with worry.

"Course I am." He snapped, going to wipe the tears away, but realized the water was still going so it didn't matter.

"I brought you some fresh clothes." She said. She placed them on a bench and smiled gently at him. "I'm always here if you need to talk to someone." She said before exiting the room.

* * *

Daryl turned over in his bed once again and stared at the wall intently. Everyone else had gone to bed hours ago, and he'd tried, but had found it impossible to sleep. Every time he closed his eyes he saw Merle…walker Merle. He heard Judith cry out and then the light footsteps of Carol. He crawled out of his bed and stretched a little before slipping out of his cell. Just down the walkway Carol was sitting and holding the baby close, shushing her as she coaxed a bottle into her mouth. Daryl walked over and sat beside Carol. "He left when I was 'bout ten, he never knew that our dad beat me." He said quietly. Carol was surprised by this but said nothing and let him continue. "I know that if he'd known…the bastard woulda stuck 'round. He did care fer me Carol. He had an odd way of showin' it…but he did."

Carol nodded her head slowly. "Is that all?"

"Course not." He said quietly. "Merle returned just before the world went t'shit. Came to my place and then everything happened and we set out on our own. We found y'all…and then, just when everything seemed t'be goin' alright…I lost him." He said. Daryl blinked back tears as he looked up at the ceiling and let out a deep breath. "I couldn' find him Carol. I'm one of the best damn trackers there is…and I couldn' find my own brother." He shook his head and looked at her for a moment. "And then…I did find him…And now. He's gone again. I want you t'know…and I'm gonna tell everyone else down there, it's gonna be me t'kill that son of a bitch." He growled. He looked down at Judith to see she was now fast asleep. "Night Little Ass Kicker." He whispered before getting up going back to his cell. When he laid down, sleep finally overtook him and he was in a land where there was still a Merle.

* * *

Daryl paced the guard tower anxiously. Everyone was so tense with the war coming upon them and Daryl still wasn't sleeping properly. So he decided to spend that time in the guard tower. Tonight though, seemed to be extra intense for him and the rest because no one slept. Daryl glanced up at the moon figured it had to be a little past midnight and he was pulled away from this by light footsteps coming to join him. "Nice night huh?" Carol asked as she came to stand beside him.

"Mmhmm." Daryl said. He released a sigh and glanced at the woman beside him. He would be a fool if he hadn't noticed her before now. He noticed the way her body curved underneath her clothes and the way her eyes shone when she laughed. He noticed everything about her. And honestly, he loved everything about her. He knew she wanted to be near him, but feared his rejection. And he loved it. How could he not? "Carol…I'm sorry." He whispered.

"For what?" she asked.

"Not finding Sophia. I tried so hard too. I really did. I didn' want t'see yeh hurt. But, I couldn' do that either. I couldn' find m'damn brother and I couldn' find Sophia. She was such a sweet girl. She could bring a smile t'anyone's face." He said quietly.

"Even yours?" Carol asked with a tone of surprise.

Daryl chuckled a little at this. "Especially mine." He replied. "She came up t'me right before we went t'Atlanta t'find Merle…she told me we were gonna find him. He was gonna be alright because he was m'brother… he was just like me. Tough as nails and he could handle himself." Daryl said as he looked out across the field fighting tears once again. "At the CDC she came up t'me again. And she stood there awkwardly in the door way to m'room, just staring at me as I read a book. So when I stood up t'let her sit down, she ran up t'me and hugged me. She told me she was so sorry. And then she left just like that." He said quietly.

He saw Carol nod her head out of the corner of his eye. "She…she was always like that." She whispered.

Daryl nodded. "I realize. And I knew yeh needed her. So I tried…I tried m'best Carol. Fer yeh. I wanted yeh t'be happy. I wanted yeh t'smile." He said.

Carol put a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Thank you. And you have Daryl. Even though Sophia didn't come back to us physically she is still with us…in here." She said as she placed a dainty finger on his chest just above his heart. "So is Merle. Sure, he was a douche bag…but I could tell his heart was in the right place. It always has been." She said. When Daryl looked a little confused she beamed a smile up at him, "With you."

Daryl nodded and without a second thought pulled Carol in for a hug. "I really needed this." He whispered.

Carol hugged him back and lightly patted his back. "I know." She whispered.

* * *

As the sun began to rise Rick brought Daryl and Carol food and weapons. "Thank you Rick." She said. "And trust me. I've practiced, I'm a way better shot now." She said.

Rick nodded. "You two look after each other. Daryl, remember the bird call if something happens."

"Of course." Daryl said before Rick left them alone.

"It's so pretty." Carol said quietly.

"Yeah…yeh are." Daryl said. Carol looked over at him with bewilderment. "Carol, yeh're not only pretty, but yeh're beautiful…and I think…I think I might love you." He said quietly. He leaned in and kissed her on the lips.

When they pulled away, Daryl had his arms around her waist and her hands were flat on his muscular chest. "I think…I love you too." She said with a bright grin.

Then a shot rang out across the clearing the prison was situated in and blood splattered across Daryl's face and Carol went limp in his arms. Daryl stood there frozen. Then a scream ripped from his throat and he looked away from the one woman he ever loved to see the Governor standing right in front of the foliage on the forest. Daryl laid Carol down and closed her eyelids. He watched as tears splashed onto her face. He grabbed his crossbow and bag of weapons and ran down the steps. _This time, you die._ He thought as he stepped out of the doors and onto the grounds of the prison.

* * *

**_Author's Note:_**

_I hope you guys enjoyed._

_And I'm sorry if I made anyone cry...I cried whilst writing this._

_My darling friend got the whole sad thing in my mind and I had to make this._

_So please review and read some of my other Daryl & Carol things! ;)_

_Yours Truly,_

**_~Daryl-Dixons-Gurl~_**


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